Being Lost and Found

As of recent, I feel like I've been left out of a lot of people's lives. I know that some of this is my doing, although it's not something that I meant to do. I have bottled myself up and not let people in, but it's because of the reaction I've gotten from people when I've tried to open up.

Truthfully, I feel replaced. I feel as though my importance in their lives has diminished and like the newest model car- I've been traded up.

But I have decided that there's nothing that can be done now. It's happened and there's no going back. I will just have to keep myself guarded so that I will never be in the position to be replaced again.

Update

A lot of things have happened since the last post. I still feel alone in the world. Once you lose your mom, your greatest fan, I think you are alone in the world. No one understands you the way your mother does. She doesn't drop you when other people come along, or make you feel inadequate and inferior, as friends do.

I feel as though I've been cheated by people. I have listened and listened to their problems, but it seems as though when I start to tell them mine, they listen for a bit and then go right into talking about themselves. Maybe it's just me, but when I listen, I listen.

Anymore, I don't feel I can confide in anyone. It's been so long since I've felt comfortable talking to someone about how I really feel. I don't think people care about how I feel. People don't see me as a person. I'm just that thing that's there whenever they need someone. And that hurts.

I am alone

I feel more and more alone lately. I'm very social to people, but on the inside I know that I'm on my own. I don't even like to talk to people about what's going on with me any longer. Making small talk is how I dodge questions about me, or I'll put on a big smile and say, "Oh, yeah! I'm doing fine!" But I'm not.